The rules for online dating ebook
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I'm regularly grateful to have been one of the last generations of teenagers who didn't have to worry about social media when it came to college crushes, but even I remember days spent staring at a mobile phone that refused to beep.I have never been a "Rules girl" (that's right, they're a tribe – Blake Lively and Beyoncé are both rumoured to have tried them, on Leonardo Di Caprio and Jay Z respectively).
The New Rules might not explain the great mystery, but they offer certain coping strategies in the meantime.
What the international phenomenon of The Rules did for conventional dating, The Rules for Online Dating does for the search for love on the Internet.
You'll never hit the "reply" button the same way again.
Ever since she and Sherrie Schneider began weekly meetings in a Chinese restaurant years ago, lamenting their dating woes and discussing their friends' relationships, the two have been formulating and formatting their rules for dating that have now become so popular.
They have come a long way, having been featured on Dateline NBC and the Today show, chronicled in People, Time, Newsweek, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, and USA TODAY and even spoofed in a skit on Saturday Night Live.
But the dictates are famous: never approach a man, let him come to you; never suggest a date; don't be the one to initiate or perpetuate conversation or contact; and never, ever agree to a date that is less than 24 hours away."It's more complicated and confusing now," says Fein, "and women need a new book to navigate the unchartered dating territory."That territory includes texting, email, instant messaging, online dating, Facebook and Twitter.
Before these, there was just the telephone, which you invariably watched until it rang. Well, I did, but I already told you I wasn't a Rules girl.
"That is not repressive: that is called self-control and smart, effective behaviour.""We are feminists," adds Fein. We say go ahead and run a marathon and buy a condo and start a new business, just don't chase guys.
It's not good or bad, it just doesn't work."Such is the crisis that constant contact has caused in our consciousness that Fein and Schneider have also created a chart in the new book that will tell you how long to wait before you text a man back (hint: the lag period increases, the older and supposedly wiser you are, and leave at least four hours before replying to man's initial text, whatever your age)."Don't text him back immediately… Never double text," they suggest."If you want more from a guy, give less."It's good advice, written in the vein of now-famous post-Rules guides Why Men Love Bitches and He's Just Not That Into You; each is predicated on creating an epiphany moment in women, when they suddenly understand what it is that men want or need from them.
Essentially, The New Rules deals with social media and our increased interconnectivity by ignoring it all and pretending humanity was at a comms high around the time Rapunzel was locked up in that tower.
The advice, which ranges from micro-management to maternal instruction, takes the tone of a maiden aunt.
Millions of women around the world are meeting men on the Internet, or they've met in person and are corresponding by e-mail.