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Your virginity hangs around your neck like an albatross. Like there’s a great fault within you that’s holding you back but that nobody else seems to have.
We blame for whatever flaws make us perceive ourselves as unfuckable.And believe me, it wasn’t much better for the women I tried to date, either.I hurt a number of people in my quest to get my dick wet and, at the time, I didn’t care.Because when we fail to follow the Standard Virginity Loss Narrative, the fault lies with .Speaking of stories: I want to tell you the story about my first time. Not too far off from the average age of 17 actually, but even had I known, it wouldn’t have made me feel better at the time.The second is that by focusing on being A Virgin – making it part of your identity – you indulge in a form of confirmation bias; you see couples together and immediately assume that they’re fucking even though they’re on their first date.
You dismiss the people who still aren’t having any.They can’t bring themselves to approach women, so they don’t have opportunities to lose their virginity. We live in a culture that seems to go out of its way to imply that everyone is having sex and you aren’t. In fact, the number of people having sex in high school is actually from 54% in 1991 to 43% in 2011.They continue to get older, becoming even of titanic proportions that casts a shadow over everything they do and who they are. So let’s talk a little about the problems with the way we think about male virginity… Stories of blowjobs being traded as casually as handshakes in high-school, and the hang-wringing over college hook-up culture make the world sound like a never-ending bacchanal for those who are lucky enough to take part. Similarly, college isn’t the hotbed of casual sex that we think it is; students tend to regularly overestimate just how much their fellow classmates are hooking up rather drastically. The first is that we’ve been handed a shared narrative via pop-culture that directly affects how we our lives are supposed to be.And one of the best places to start is to talk about sex.Specifically: male virginity and the shame in ages – talking about the shame and pain of being a male virgin.When you’re focused on your identity as Virgin with a capital V, it can feel like everybody else is at a party that you’ve been left out of, even as it’s going on all around you. Prom goes from just a dance to THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE, a night when you’re supposed to confess your love and slip away to lose your virginity.