Islam and dating
Islam and dating - are online dating sites a waste of time
Despite the lack of physical markers for me to measure my progress by, I did think things were going well. Although she did call me nice, she also told me she really admired my maturity, my intelligence, the way I interpreted Islam. There were at least three I heard of in the short time I had with her. She was hardworking, intelligent, practicing, and absolutely beautiful.Still, it came as a shock to me, someone who had no experience with the arranged path to love, or at least marriage.
We met a few months ago when the MSA at my university asked me to speak about my experience as a convert during their Islamic Awareness week.I saw her a couple times over the next two weeks, and things seemed to be getting more relaxed.We even made plans to head to an Islamic history museum to celebrate the end of her exams.As I waited for the brothers to set up the makeshift stage, she showed up. After greeting a couple of friends, she asked the brothers why they were starting so late, and where the revert was.I laughed, and wondered if this meant I could blend in without being The Obvious Convert.The breaking point came when she messaged me late one night. Friends and family had begun to give her shit about wearing her hijab loosely.
She wanted to vent to me because she felt comfortable, like I wouldn’t judge her. I realized this was it, and I had to make my feelings clear. She said she was honored, and pleasantly surprised.
I consoled her, but midway through her vent she mentioned another marriage proposal, this one from her brother’s friend in medical school. Since her divorce, she said, she was just going with the flow on these issues, so she was open to seeing where things would go with me.
But, she cautioned, if her family approved of a proposal, that would probably be it for her. She was a big fan, even going so far as to say “It’s the best example of how a brother should approach a sister, to be honest!
And yet here I was, pinned to the bed by a beautiful woman, thinking I had the game mastered.
Maybe I had game mastered, but the rules changed when I embraced Islam. In a way, I had to start over and become an awkward teenager again, relearning how to approach women.
Unfortunately, the happiness wouldn’t last long, as reality soon swept in to slap me around a bit. But she told her friend about it, and her friend said it sounded like a date. But what seemed to me like the most innocent date you could go on was scandalous to her. When her ex was courting her, they had only met up on four occasions before he proposed. “You’re probably thinking what have I gotten myself into,” she said. She said her time with me was fun, but she wanted to go back to what she was used to – a traditional, arranged process. What I thought was an innocent encounter actually turned out to just be a haram thrill on her end, little more than what the girls who used to cheat on their boyfriends with me got out of it.