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As a single lady with little time or inclination to go on traditional dates, I’ll admit it: I’ve long been jealous of my gay friends' access to Grindr, the location-based casual-hookup app. Indeed, a piece on online dating earlier this year pinpointed the biggest hurdle in transitioning hookup apps from the gay to the straight world: “making it work for straight women, who may not need an app to know that they are surrounded by willing straight men." This is an outmoded view of the sexual economy.For almost as long, I've been telling just about anyone who will listen to me that we need a heterosexual version of this technology. Data from online dating websites actually shows the opposite: Men are picky, and women are far more forgiving and flexible when it comes to seeking a partner.
One of the primary benefits of Grindr is its clarity. My friend and I found that some people are coming to Blendr in search of a true Grindr analog.
As I enter my 24th year, I also enter into real adulthood in a new city.
My usual hangouts (bars, spin studios, coffee shops, and my female-dominated workplace) have not been proving fruitful when it comes to meeting nice guys, so, about a month ago, I decided it was about time for a change of pace.
I tested their standards of profiles (yikes – see more below), their processes, and their successes and failures. While each individual app is unique, I wanted to present myself as uniformly as possible.
I did all this for one main reason: to make this process easier for all those of who want to try it. (For example, while Tinder has more of a “hook-up” stereotype than Hinge does, I didn’t want to present myself as more open to hook-ups on one versus the other.) It’s difficult to decide how to present yourself in this capacity – how much is appropriate to share, but how much is not enough?
Because of all this, I was led to embark upon one of the weirdest, funniest, and most rewarding adventures of my life: I joined five different dating apps at once.
I’ve never been into online dating, so signing up for any app was daunting.Somehow, penis photography is even less appealing in Blendr's "just friends" trappings. Even for the modern woman who knows she wants a casual hookup, declaring this on a public profile will result in such an avalanche of attention, potential social stigma, and legitimate safety concerns that it negates the ease of using such an app.Alas, to quote my friend: “What’s gay-efficient is hetero-creepy.” Clearly Blendr isn't the hetero hookup app I've been waiting for. For a straight-Grindr to work, it also needs to position itself as clearly about casual sex. Can we please stop pretending that only men are interested in no-strings hookups? To make women comfortable, you need to put the control in their hands.Logged in as me, my friend send very straightforward messages to men ("Hey, what are you up to tonight?"), who almost immediately replied with dick pics and winking emoticons. For this reason, there is a standard refrain I hear when I express the need for a hetero Grindr: It won’t work because women won’t use it.